Forgive Us Our Sins

Forgiveness hurts. It hurts when you find out someone you trust and love dearly does something wrong against you. Whether it's a close friend, a family member, a boyfriend/girlfriend, or a spouse, forgiving someone so precious to you hurts. Our human nature doesn't want to forgive. It would much rather take revenge, make them pay for what they've done. After all, how could they have done that to you/me?

Then I remember the forgiveness I've received from the Father. When I didn't deserve it, it was there for me. When I should be eternally dead and separated from God, Christ brought us to righteousness. "Forgive as the LORD forgave you" (Colossians 3:13). But it hurts when we keep asking for forgiveness. It breaks the heart of God when we've made our commitment but renege on that commitment. He loves us that much. Having just a little glimpse on His sorrow and disappointment makes me appreciate my forgiveness even more.

"The beauty about grace is that it makes life unfair." -Relient K

Prayer

i find that being a college student seems to make it harder to pray. maybe it's just all the stuff that i have going on in my life. Whatever it is, i always have something else to do besides pray. i make excuses as to why the internet or tv are more important that God. honestly, it's become something i've noticed among people as a whole. why is it that we make it such a burden to pray to our Father in Heaven?

i once heard a guy say that if we want to understand God better, we need to pray. if you spend 30 minutes with someone everyday, they eventually become your best friend. why? you know them intimately because you invest in getting to know them. that's the way prayer is. if you invest your time into prayer, you'll understand more about God.

i will admit, i have been praying more recently. it's still not as much as i'd like to pray, but we're taking baby steps to get there. as i pray more, i will become a better friend, christian, boyfriend, and person because i will understand God and His plan for my life.

Being A Good Husband (but not yet)

How can I be a good husband? How can I pursue my future wife and make her feel loved?

These are just a couple of things I'm trying to process in my life right now. It's hard to know how to pursue a significant other who is 1500 miles away. My fiancee is in Miami while I'm in Cedar Rapids for almost the rest of the year. We're both on this extensive internship for school, and it's just really hard to communicate via phone and email. It also doesn't help that I don't have a lot of spare cash to send her things in the mail. I really wish I could do things like that, but it's just so hard.

I am writing letters. I promised to write letters every week, but that hasn't happened. I'm about three weeks late on that. Maybe this could be the turning point for me. Maybe I can be worthy to be called her future husband. Until then, I have to keep learning what it is that makes her feel loved and how I can satisfy that from 1500 miles.

Welcome

Welcome to all you fellow journeymen. I am Thomas (or "Tank," as some may call me). This is just a little place where I plan to chronicle what I'm learning in life, where I am in my spiritual journey, what I'm learning about God and ministry, and the like. This is my corner of the world to let everyone know where I am currently headed. Hopefully you can gain insight from my experiences as we walk this path together.