El Fin

Wednesday was the finish.  I turned in my notebook for PRIME, and called it quits for the semester.  I am really quite confident in how the semester turned out.  I think I'll probably be getting a high grade on the experience as a whole.

With the end of PRIME comes the joy of vacation.  I've been able to spend the last couple of days with Jess and her family.  It's been quite fun.  We put up their 9 ft. Christmas tree (with much frustration).  We also had the chance to go downtown in Chicago yesterday.  It was quite a great experience.  We had dinner at the Grand Lux Cafe.  It was a really nice restaurant above the Ann Taylor store on the corner of Michigan and Ontario.  We then proceeded north on Michigan Ave towards Macy's.  We made a few stops along the way in Crate & Barrel, The Apple Store (much joy had here), The Disney Store, Hershey's, Borders, and The American Girl Store (don't ask).  She and I finished up the evening with tall gingerbread and eggnog lattes (respectfully).  It was a much needed date after 6 months.

I'm also looking forward to going home for a few weeks.  Here's a chronological order of things I'm looking forward to doing over the break:

• Spending a week mostly alone during the day
• Reading "The Gospel According to Starbucks" by Leonard Sweet
• Maybe reading a couple other books
• Going to Missouri for Christmas
• Christmas dinner in Missouri (17 people, lots of food, so much fun!)
• Spending time with my family
• Possibly seeing my friends Ben, Andrew, and Tiffany
• Welcoming 2008 with outstretched arms
• Finally moving back to school

Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Bean "Today"

Bertie Bott has released a new flavor of the famous Every Flavor Beans. The newest addition to the lineup is a flavor called "today." Some of you might be wondering what today tastes like. It's different for each person each day.

For me, today tastes bittersweet. After spending 6 months with a great group of students, two amazing admin assistants, and two wonderful youth pastors, I am leaving to return home. I have grown to love the students at New Covenant. They all have potential for greatness. I have been super privileged to get to work with them. From Mexico to the Fall Retreat, this group has been like family to me.

Though I leave a great family of believers, I do get to spend some time with my past and future families. I get to fly to Miami tomorrow to drive back with my supercool soon-to-be wife (my future family) and we get to spend some time with my family in Indiana. It's going to be a rollercoaster week with driving 16 hours to southern Illinois, Waveland, and Huntington. It's going to be worth every second, though. I wouldn't trade it for the world!

Satisfaction in White

Well, I've had my Macbook for a week now. It's a slick little computer with a lot of spunk. I love it. Thanks, Apple, for making a great computer!

Things I Don't Understand But Find Fascinating...

This video was in the status bar of my friend Bridger Fetters on Facebook. I don't get it, but I love it! Thanks, Bridger, for sharing.

Thankfulness

This year for Thanksgiving, I got to experience what true thankfulness is. I couldn't afford to go home for Thanksgiving since it was about a week before I leave PRIME. I wasn't really sure what was going to happen for Thanksgiving, so I was kinda just playing it by ear. I hadn't really made any plans. About a week before the holiday, I found out that my mentor, boss, and friend, Mark Forstrom, was heading to Rockford for the holiday. So, I decided to call Jessica's family. She wasn't going to be able to make it home for Thanksgiving, so I wasn't totally sure about coming to her house. I decided that it would be better than staying in Cedar Rapids alone, so I hitched a ride with the Forstroms.

After enjoying a delightful drive from Brenda, we got to Rockford, where we met Jessica's parents. They took me back to the house, and it's been a great time since then. I've gotten to spend time with her family. Her grandparents have been staying in the basement, and we had Thanksgiving dinner at her uncle's house. It's been great to hang out with my future family extension. Would it have been better if Jess could have been here? Yes. Am I thankful I came? Most definitely.

Thank you, Palmer family, for making my Thanksgiving a great one!

Catching Up

I haven't posted on Searching For God Knows What for a while now. Since it's been six chapters, I'll do a quick update on the main points from each chapter:

9. Jesus didn't buy into our system of hierarchy. Why do we try to make him fit it now?

10. The Gospel of Jesus is more than a tool to fight evolution and "bad people."

11. The way we determine our value among ourselves is absurd. The Fall has made monkeys of us.

12. Morality isn't a code. It's a response of love to God.

13. For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. 1 Cor. 2:2 Why do we try to make our theological knowledge our "importance factor?"

14. Romeo and Juliet is a better description of the Gospel than the Roman Road.

Blazin' Glory

So today Mark Forstrom and I took on the Blazin' Challenge at Buffalo Wild Wings. It didn't quite turn out the way we expected it to. Originally, we had thought that it was a challenge to eat 12 wings coated in Blazin' sauce in a matter of 6 minutes. That's pretty reasonable...

Think again! Apparently, BW3 of Iowa decided to change the rules a little bit. Instead of 12, we were faced with 18. The time wasn't 6 minutes; it was now 5! Off we went. Mark and I were going great until the end. I hit the wall. Too much chicken! I didn't barf, but I slowed down considerably. When it came down to it, I only managed to eat 17 in 5 minutes. The last wing stared up from the pool of sauce and grease collecting at the bottom of the bowl with a menacing look. Mark had completed the challenge; but, alas, I was not up to it. Now, we're both suffering from heartburn...

That is the end of my story.

Hope

I recently saw a few yard signs supporting Democratic candidate Barack Obama. Although I like to adhere to no political party and vote for the candidate I feel upholds my values the most, I can't help but notice Senator Obama's campaign. It's been largely targeting young adults (an age bracket known for its absence at the voting booths). However, the campaign ad to the left struck me in a profound way.

What exactly is Senator Obama trying to say by these ads targeting for hope? It would seem to me that he is trying to strike a chord with many Americans who have lost hope. What hope is it that he is trying to re-establish? I just find it interesting that his recent campaign ads have all been addressing the ideas of hope and changing the world. Can a president really promise two things as large as hope and world change? Is it really the place of a president or a country (which can't really even agree on much within itself) to bring hope and change to the world? What happened to the hope we find in Christ? Has this hope suddenly become insufficient?

I've not looked too deeply into presidential candidates this year. Part of me wants to vote Democrat (with the exception of Hilary) partially out of rebellion to my father who is uber-conservative. Another part of me sees what a terrible mess everything has become as of late and wants to see change. But I don't think a president can bring the change I'm looking for. I'm sorry, Senator Obama, but you can't give me the hope I desire. The only way the change I'm looking for can come about is if the church gets out of the lifeboat and starts doing something together in the name of Christ to change the world the way the early church did it: with truth and love. The two go together hand-in-hand. You can't have one without the other. Both are insufficient to bring what Senator Obama and many others are looking for; together, they can do even more.

God's Heroes

This is a note written on Facebook by my good friend Jacob Lehmann. I thought I'd just share it with you guys:


"The batter steps up to the plate, warms up his muscles with a few practice swings, and prepares for the coming pitch. The pitcher winds up and sends the hurtling white blur toward the waiting catcher's mitt. The bat cracks, the ball soars out of the infield, over the outfield's fence, and into the stands. This batter is a splendid athlete, and many of those who sit in the stands have come in hopes of catching that home-run ball. The focus of this note, however, is not upon the athlete himself, but upon how the crowds of adoring fans are acting. Why are they acting this way? Why does this particular athlete deserve such adoration? He is special. He stands apart from the rest, because he has done great things and has devoted himself tirelessly to the sport that is his profession. People admire his achievements and his talent, both of which result from God's goodness. It is right that they admire him, and it is right that they make a big deal of him. It is part of who we are as human beings to admire beauty and excellence. We find the pinnacle of that in God; we shouldn't neglect honor of those who possess special talents or have achieved great things.
Tomorrow is Halloween. The term is derived from a contraction of the Catholic/Anglican/Lutheran holy day of All Hallows Evening. This is a special day which honors those who have gone before us in the faith, have sacrificed all for the cause of Christ and His Kingdom, and have proven themselves exceptionally selfless. God has made them holy and called them to serve Him; they answered the call and served him with a steadfast heart, though still imperfect. Upon attending one of these Masses, one might perceive the liturgy as idolatry. However, this is not the case. These people are no longer walking in the flesh, so we can't give them a pat on the back or tell them that they did well. They are currently in Heaven, worshiping the Lord day and night before His throne and, some believe, praying for those still struggling to serve God. Instead of patting them on the back, we celebrate a service and tell them through a certain type of prayer. This is not worship. It is much like cheering for an athlete. These "athletes", however, are not here bodily. This note could go on forever, so I will end here.

Just because the person dies, doesn't mean that his flame of influence has to die out..."

Friends Purge and Being Important

I realize I write long entries on this blog. Perhaps that's why no one leaves many comments. Or they just don't like me enough. Oh well!

I just got done with chapters 7 & 8 in Searching for God Know What. They were incredible chapters. To make it short, Miller says that the problem with humanity is that our focus is out of whack. We are looking to each other for our validity instead of to God. Before the Fall, God was our source of importance and validity. Now, we try to get it from each other. It goes right along with wanting to be our own god.

Basically, he likens the human state to the lifeboat analogy. Apart from God, we're all on a lifeboat deciding who should be thrown from our vessel. Our worth comes from a jury of our peers, and the sentence for not measuring up is drowning in the ocean of life. This is something I see on Facebook all the time (unlike Tye, my name is Facebook appropriate). Even in my own life, I try to validate my existence by accruing more friends on the social networking site. Recently, I had had enough. I went through my list of friends and got rid of about 300 people. They were people from my past with whom I have no communication. I was awakened to the fact that the only reason I have them as a friend was to say that I had 500+ friends, or in the hopes that they would see my profile and see what a remarkable individual I was.

The point of the matter is that we should be seeking to have our validity come from God. The two most important people in my life, God and Jessica, both validate me. I can stand being important to only two people. Can you?

Naked Is Normal

So, I had been putting off blogging about the 5th and 6th chapters in Searching For God Knows What because they were really hard chapters to read. They seemed to go nowhere, as some chapters do with Donald Miller. It was hard to pull anything from them except for two things.

In chapter 5, Miller talks about how being naked is the point of Genesis 2 &3. This is the focus on Adam and Eve in these chapters. Miller talks about how Moses makes it a point to highlight this because they were naked and felt no shame. He then goes on to talk about how he's very insecure when he's naked (and, no doubt, most everyone is insecure when nude. I sure am!). He talks about how Adam and Eve weren't insecure because their focus was on God. God was the source of all their security. They didn't know what being apart from God was like. Their lives were in unison with the Father's. However, once the relationship was broken because of their sin, they knew it immediately. They became insecure about their bodies, so God had to give them clothing. This explains why we're always "covering up" our insecurities. We don't want anyone to see us "naked," so to speak.

In chapter 6, he elaborates on this idea of a relationship being broken. He says that we are now deformed and warlike creatures that cause pain to one another because Satan first caused us pain. He said that the only peaceful and innocent kingdom to ever be attacked was God's kingdom long ago at Creation. Now, our souls are deformed like the bodies of the children born after the Chernobyl accident in the 80's. There's really no way to make the deformity go away except by God's grace. Even then, the influences of the world keep trying to get us to become deformed again.

He also goes into a discourse on spiritual warfare, which is something I found quite interesting. The only place I've ever really heard spiritual warfare discussed was in the super conservative, charismatic church of my childhood. But he says that we are at war, not with one another, but with spiritual forces that are trying to destroy us. However, we have a trump card. You see, Jesus himself is interceding at the right hand of the Father for us; the Trinity is on our side! We can draw confidence from the Lord's strength. The Word of God is our weapon. So many times, we look at the Bible as the cosmic self-help book, when in reality, it is our Sword! Every word is written to draw us closer to the God who loves us and protect us from the Devil who hates us.

TreeBeard and God

What does God look like to you? Is he some old man up in the sky? Is he ready to zap you with a lightning bolt if you screw up? Is he just some supremely benevolent being that wants nothing more than for you to be happy?

What if God was more like TreeBeard (the ent from Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers)? This is what Donald Miller describes God as in chapter 3. To Miller, God has oak trees for feet and a quiet voice that sounds like the whisper of the wind through a forest. What he's really trying to say is that God is so totally other that we cannot even begin to imagine what God is like. This otherness deserves our fear. Yes, terror would be the correct form of fear in this case.

If we look at Aslan in The Chronicles of Narnia, we see a lion who is described as terrible and untame, yet good. There is a sense of fear (but not dread) that one should have when thinking about God. Because of God's otherness, we have a certain amount of fear for the One who created the universe. However, because of His goodness, we do not dread Him. When we misrepresent God, we are doing Him a huge disservice. We show the world a bad picture of who God really is. He is more than a system of beliefs to make you feel better. He's a living and active Being. When we truly find God, we will find the value we have; the value for which we look to other people. Miller says it like this, "It seems like, if you really knew the God who understands the physics of our existence, you would operate a little more cautiously, a little more compassionately, a little less like you are the center of the universe." When you find God's love, you will find the value of yourself and truly love others enough to die for them.

In chapter 4, Miller makes some a huge assertion. Basically, he says that systematic theology is totally null outside the relationship context with God. You may present the ideas of God, but they make no sense outside of the emotional connection with God. He says that if figures like Paul, John, and Moses were to look at our systematic theology books, they would probably say, "Well, it's technically true; it just isn't meaningful." Truth is living and complex. You can't break it down into a simple format. It must be discovered instead of presented, sought out instead of handed on a silver platter. One might provide opportunity for truth to be found, but should never just give it up. It is too precious a commodity for that. Am I saying that we shouldn't tell people the Good News? To quote Paul, by no means! We should present the truth with no expectation of response. It is totally up to a person to seek it out. Only then will the truth become meaningful to the person. We should approach the Bible in a less narcissistic way, looking for Christ in every verse rather than ourselves as Kathleen Norris describes of the study habits of Benedictine Monks in The Cloister Walk.

The Florida Syndicate

Again, I'm terrible at this blogging thing.

I had a great opportunity to visit my fiance this weekend in sunny Miami, FL. It was a great time of relaxing and enjoying each other. We went to the beach, watched the sunrise, ate sushi, watched about 5 movies, ate Nicaraguan food, and cooked a whole lot of good stuff. It was a wonderful weekend.

I like Florida, but not Miami. It's too busy. There are too many people always on the go. I did enjoy going about 2 miles from His House and seeing cows in the city. That was funny. I liked Dania Beach. That's where we went on Friday and watched the sunrise on Monday. It was quiet and peaceful.

I'm so in love with Jessica. She's such an awesome woman with a huge heart and great faith. I'm so blessed to have her. Some days I'm so ready to get married, and some days I'm not sure. It's not that I have cold feet; I just wonder if I'm ready for this responsibility. Maybe I won't ever really be ready for it. Maybe it's just one of those things where I'll have to trust God to shape me. "Love her like Christ loves the church and gave himself up for her," Paul says. That's a lofty goal. I hope I can get there for real.

I read some more in Searching For God Knows What. I'll probably blog about that tomorrow then blog on Monday or Tuesday about chapters 5 & 6.

Terrible yet Beautiful

So, I'm absolutely terrible at updating my blog. Perhaps this is why people do not frequently leave comments. Erin said it best, "I don't post frequently enough. I don't post about enough current topics. I seem to be more of a drive-by blogger." Well, now I have a reason to post more.

I'm currently reading Searching For God Knows What by Donald Miller with some of the senior guys in youth group. He's an author I respect a lot. He makes Christianity refreshing in a way. So many times, we get caught up in our own spirituality that we forget Christianity is a communal thing. We can grown by the thoughts, ideas, and experiences of other people. Miller brings his own experiences to the table, making you laugh and think at the same time.

His first chapter is great! He talks about how formulas don't work for Christianity. You can't put your relationship with God in a formulaic pattern anymore than your relationship with your best friend, wife, parents, siblings, etc. How many times do we do that, though? How often do we try to "self-help" our way into spirituality and Christianity? A relationship with God takes more time than just three, four, six, or twelve steps. It's takes all our time. I think that's why Brother Lawrence was so right in practicing the presence of God. When you're always aware of God's presence, then you get to know Him better. Duh!

The second chapter goes along very well with number one. When you have a formula god, you have a simple god. You have a simple god, he only exists to validate you,. In other words, your god moves according to your agenda instead of you moving according to God's. However, when questions come (like the questions in the WHY> series here at NCBC), your simple, self-justifying god falls apart. This god is an imposter of the real God just like (as Miller puts it) all the department store Santas were, to him, imposters of the "real" one when he was a child. No wonder so many people who say they believed in God but turned away. They were worshiping an idol, a sham, a simple god. Maybe this god is related to our God, but limited by the characteristics of the Living God that you like. We don't serve a Buffet God from whom you can pick and choose what characteristics you like or make you feel good. You simply create an imposter that is easily "debunked" when you start to really seek.

That's what makes the Living God so beautiful. He's kind of like a Hobbit. You can spend years with Him, but He'll always still surprise you.

"The god who cares so much about getting rich must not have treasures stored up in heaven, and the god so concerned with getting even must not have very much patience, and the god who cares so much about the West must really hate the rest of the world, and that doesn't sound like a very good god to me." Searching For God Knows What, pp. 28-29

The Tank is out...

What it REALLY means to be!

So, I am infatuated with one Clive Staples Lewis. What a great author! The 9 books of his that I have read (All 7 Narnia books, Mere Christianity, and The Problem of Pain) have been phenomenal. Lewis has a way to make you critically think then blows your mind out of the water!

I just recently finished The Problem of Pain. It was an eye-opening book, and I'll admit, I had my problems with it. Lewis brings into play his old-earth creation theories and talks some about his evolutionary creationist thoughts. However, it doesn't take away from the book at all. As I text messaged a friend last night, "I love how Lewis writes final chapters that make up for any craziness or confusion from the rest of the book." The last chapters of The Chronicles of Narnia series, Mere Christianity, and The Problem of Pain all deal with a single truth: What it REALLY means to be. Simply put, what are we really supposed to be? And he does a remarkable job at sharing his theories on it.

In The Chronicles of Narnia, the children are exposed to a new Narnia that looks the same old one. However, the world is more vibrant, more alive than the old world was. They find that they can do things there that they could never have done before. They find themselves to be truer selves.

In Mere Christianity, Lewis talks about The New Man. This idea is based on what Jesus said about losing your life to find it. When we submit ourselves to Christ, we find who we truly are. We find our very essence, our very being. Though we cannot experience that totally on this side of life, we can get a taste of it. But when we make it to Heaven, we will taste it for real and forever.

In The Problem of Pain, he says that each are created differently the same way keys are created differently. We have uniqueness to ourselves because who we are fits Heaven in a particular way. "Heaven was not made for us, we were made for it." God loves each of us differently because of our differences. He loves us with the same intensity, but in tremendously different ways. And when we find ourselves face-to-face with the Creator, we will experience Paradise once again. We will forever be in this cycle (or dance, as Lewis says) of us submitting ourselves to God and God showing us who we are more clearly. We will be humanity in Heaven. It sounds confusing, but it is a beautiful picture he paints. It's much better than his description of Hell, in which a person becomes what was left of a soul: a self-centered will and uncontrollable passions eternally excluded from humanity.

How encouraging it is to think that when I get to Heaven I will know who I really am. I may find clues as to who I really am on earth as I submit myself to Christ more and more, and pain may even exist because of this, but someday I will know me and you will know you in a way we could never know ourselves before. We will be given tablets of stone with our new secret names, which only the individual and the Father will know. We are each keys, as Lewis puts it, that unlock a different door in the mansion with many rooms. When those rooms are unlocked, we will know humanity and we will know God!

Hallelujah!

Lack of Profundity

Well, I really don't have anything profound to write about today. Last week was probably one of the busiest weeks of the whole summer. I had a lot on my plate. The week started out with Mess Fest, which is our big outreach for middle school. We have stations for the students to get crazy messy. After that, we give the gospel presentation relating the mess they have on them to sin. Later that week, we decided to overhaul the senior high room. We gave it the feel of the Merge conference we had attended earlier this summer. The chairs are all in a round with the band back in one corner. Finally, the week ended with the lock-in and canoe trip. It was really fun canoeing down a river after getting very little sleep.

I did learn about putting on events like these. They take so much work! There are so many things that go into pulling off trips like this, and these guys are perfect to learn from. Even though Mark and I almost got kicked out of Home Depot AND Aldi's, we were still able to pull off a great event. And, Mark Eades did a fabulous job with Mess Fest. So many people went into pulling it off, and he did a great job organizing it.

I did commit an act of piracy. While on the canoe trip, I decided it would be a good idea to jump from my canoe of three people into a canoe of two. I had the other two guys in my canoe paddle hard to the first two-person canoe we came upon. They came alongside it, grabbed the side, and I jumped into the canoe. Later, I decided that I would tip the canoe I had jumped into. Oh, it was fun!

I also had the privilege of having dinner with the Hann's. Now, when I say Hann's, I mean Matt and Emily. Emily's mom works in the office here, and they had a reception for the people in Iowa who couldn't make it to Huntington for the wedding. Anyway, we went to Panera and talked about life. It helped ease my depression a little.

Well, only 6 days until I get to see that beautiful girl named Jessica. It's about time. That's all I've got to say. I'm just ready for it...

Remix

So, it would seem that sometimes I don't even take my own advice. Looking back at the post labeled "Across Mexican Deserts," I see that I wrote a lot about relying on God. Wow, have I been lazy! I haven't been relying on God like I should. Wouldn't you know it, my life did become moot. I was unguarded by the Holy Spirit and allowed myself to make some bad choices and break some promises. For that, I am truly sorry.

It's interesting how some of us go through cycles of trusting God, relying on ourselves, getting into trouble, then coming back to God. I feel like the nation of Israel during the period of the Judges. They would trust God, rely on themselves, get into trouble, then find themselves back at God. It's not a good way to live, but it happens sometimes. Hopefully, with my focus on God, I won't have to live in the cycle.

Connected

I had the chance to go to the MERGE conference this past week. What an experience. It was inspiring, to say the least. I could see the gears start turning in the heads of the students. Suddenly, they were confronted with things that didn't quite make sense and were forced to ask questions. We all found ways that we connected to the stories of the Bible and ways that we identified with the characters.

It was a refreshing week of re-connecting with God and connecting with the students. We all realized how much we have in common with one another and with the people of the Bible. We all grew in a deeper understanding of what it means to follow God in our screwed up human state.

I encourage you to check out some of the stories from the week at www.echothestory.com.

Across Mexican Deserts

After spending a week in Mexico while building houses, I have learned quite a bit about God, myself, and other people.

First, God is enough. There is nothing except God. God is all I need. As long as I rely on God, He will provide my earthly needs. He is my source of life, not myself. When I rely on myself, I lose focus of God, and my life becomes moot.

Second, other people... They are quite useful. I cannot function alone. This is something I know, but I don't always practice. Sure, I know other people are useful, but I always depend on myself until I cannot anymore. I need to start relying on other people from the get-go to help me. People teach you how to be a better person. It's totally okay to see a good quality in someone and attempt to emulate it.

Third, is myself. I have learned the place of suffering in life. Suffering is designed to make one rely on God and others. When you suffer, you realize just how insignificant you are by yourself. It is only when you allow yourself to be used within the greater picture that you become important. One man cannot build a house alone. It would be foolish to try. In the same way, on man cannot live life alone. People are made for community, and that means not being some bigshot, go-it-alone kind of person. Through the trials I experienced in Mexico, I have realized how the Body works together in a more intricate way. Though we cannot understand God, we can understand the Body. We can understand how the Body should work and take appropriate measures to reach that function.

These are just some of the many things that my half-cooked brain discovered while in the deserts of Mexico. Take it for what it is. Perhaps we can all learn something from one another...

Forgive Us Our Sins

Forgiveness hurts. It hurts when you find out someone you trust and love dearly does something wrong against you. Whether it's a close friend, a family member, a boyfriend/girlfriend, or a spouse, forgiving someone so precious to you hurts. Our human nature doesn't want to forgive. It would much rather take revenge, make them pay for what they've done. After all, how could they have done that to you/me?

Then I remember the forgiveness I've received from the Father. When I didn't deserve it, it was there for me. When I should be eternally dead and separated from God, Christ brought us to righteousness. "Forgive as the LORD forgave you" (Colossians 3:13). But it hurts when we keep asking for forgiveness. It breaks the heart of God when we've made our commitment but renege on that commitment. He loves us that much. Having just a little glimpse on His sorrow and disappointment makes me appreciate my forgiveness even more.

"The beauty about grace is that it makes life unfair." -Relient K

Prayer

i find that being a college student seems to make it harder to pray. maybe it's just all the stuff that i have going on in my life. Whatever it is, i always have something else to do besides pray. i make excuses as to why the internet or tv are more important that God. honestly, it's become something i've noticed among people as a whole. why is it that we make it such a burden to pray to our Father in Heaven?

i once heard a guy say that if we want to understand God better, we need to pray. if you spend 30 minutes with someone everyday, they eventually become your best friend. why? you know them intimately because you invest in getting to know them. that's the way prayer is. if you invest your time into prayer, you'll understand more about God.

i will admit, i have been praying more recently. it's still not as much as i'd like to pray, but we're taking baby steps to get there. as i pray more, i will become a better friend, christian, boyfriend, and person because i will understand God and His plan for my life.

Being A Good Husband (but not yet)

How can I be a good husband? How can I pursue my future wife and make her feel loved?

These are just a couple of things I'm trying to process in my life right now. It's hard to know how to pursue a significant other who is 1500 miles away. My fiancee is in Miami while I'm in Cedar Rapids for almost the rest of the year. We're both on this extensive internship for school, and it's just really hard to communicate via phone and email. It also doesn't help that I don't have a lot of spare cash to send her things in the mail. I really wish I could do things like that, but it's just so hard.

I am writing letters. I promised to write letters every week, but that hasn't happened. I'm about three weeks late on that. Maybe this could be the turning point for me. Maybe I can be worthy to be called her future husband. Until then, I have to keep learning what it is that makes her feel loved and how I can satisfy that from 1500 miles.

Welcome

Welcome to all you fellow journeymen. I am Thomas (or "Tank," as some may call me). This is just a little place where I plan to chronicle what I'm learning in life, where I am in my spiritual journey, what I'm learning about God and ministry, and the like. This is my corner of the world to let everyone know where I am currently headed. Hopefully you can gain insight from my experiences as we walk this path together.